Planes

An alternate list of people I would have happily chosen to sit next to on the plane yesterday to escape the college couple from hell
1) a snorer
2) a baby
3) A talkative woman in her 50s suffering from empty nest syndrome
4) A kid traveling alone who needs to belt Taylor Swift to self sooth
5) The guy who passes on the free snack, then turns and says: "Aliens target sky eaters"
6) The woman laughing at Lena Dunham's new book as if to declare "her and I are SO the same"
7) the man who takes off his hat and sunglasses and ski mask and whispers "I'm just sitting here to know how the poor travel" and I'm like, "get over yourself Donald" 
8) A man who thinks the trick to turning a pumpkin into a gourd is getting it to high altitudes
9) A small town car dealer who is visibly saddened when I don't recognize him from his local cable commercial
10) an outdoor lake zamboni driver from MN who is out of a job due to global warming and needs to reminisce about all the seasons of youth hockey he smoothed ice for